Iowa City News (Comedy)

Local police officials say they've been kept busy throughout this year, investigating assaults downtown and trouble in the southeast side of the city. What looks like some to be a lot of work, though, turns out to be a blessing to officers.

"We're glad to have something to do, I can keep food on the table in this economy," said one decorated officer.

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All 120 grassroots republicans in the populous Johnson county area attended a special Reagan Society Dinner on Friday night at the Coralville Holiday Inn.

"When you get this many republicans together you know there will be a party," said one attendee.

Lately republicans in Johnson county have feared that their voices would be squeezed out by the proliferation of area democrats.

"They're like ants," said the attendee. "Even ants can do a lot when there are thousands of them."

When asked about President Obama's latest economic plans, the attendee said, "It looks tough, but we're hopeful.

With the groundbreaking of the new Shelter House in Iowa City, residents can rest easier knowing they are being protected from current economic troubles. This new shelter will house many homeless individuals, possibly sex offenders, who provide benefit to any city.

A local businessman was arrested Monday by police officers after allegedly ending kickback contributions. Due to tight budget concerns, Johnson County police officers have decided to get creative with their fundraising efforts.